Random thoughts whizzing past…

I feel like this blog is a bit like the diary I used to write in (about as randomly as I update my blog) as a little girl, and I have some thoughts to record for posterity before I forget them.

On my friends having babies:
I have several friends now who have babies, and almost all of these friends had their babies before I had Charlie. I will say that I was so excited for all of them and loved their babies and wanted to play with and hold them, etc. However, once I had Charlie, I somehow loved those other babies even more. It hit me last Friday when Adrienne and Baby Stuart came for a visit. I just wanted to eat Stuart up. I tried explaining this phenomenon to Travis, but he said (to paraphrase), “uh-huh, yeah, yeah that’s sweet, must be a women thing, whatever, back to something manly.” My friend Kelly, who is one of these friends with babies, totally got me. It’s something about once you realize how much you love your own child, you realize how much your friends love their sweet little ones, and because you love your friends so much, then you love their babies that much more, too. Wow – that was a run-on sentence if I ever saw one, but I imagine my other “mom friends” will get it. I even feel this way about babies I’ve never met. I have 2 sweet high school friends, Lacey and Amanda, who have little ones I’ve never met, but that I follow religiously via their blogs, and I just won’t to pick those babies off my computer screen and cuddle them! Does that make me crazy?!?!?!

On to the blog:
Speaking of all these fabulous friends and their babies, they almost all have blogs as well. I would love to share those sites with you since a lot of you know each other or have heard of each other, but I can’t for the life of me figure out how to create one of those spots on the side of your webpage showing the links. Can one of you who use wordpress and know how to do this (Adrienne – I’m speaking to you) send me an email telling me how to do it? I guess I should be happy I know how to put pictures on the blog, but I want more…it’s our culture…never satisfied with what I’ve got.

Marriage/My Husband:
Travis and I are reading this book on marriage – it has been mind- and life-altering. It completely upends the way I have probably always viewed marriage. You know the view – that marriage is a happy, magical fairytale where you never argue and there are flowers and slow dances all day long. I know I’m not the only one who thought or thinks like this. One of my best guy friends in college used to tell me that when he got married, he was going to have chosen his wife so carefully that they would never argue at all. He was serious, too. (He’s still single, by the way – IMAGINE THAT!). Now, I was never that naive that I thought it was like that, but I did view it as more of the romance described above and the guaranteed date for the rest of your life. I was all about the guaranteed date – I liked that idea so much that I once dated a guy for 9 months that I knew I wasn’t going to marry, that didn’t make my heart flutter in the least, and who actually had several traits that bugged the heck out of me….but I had a date every Friday night for 9 months. I also have a married friend who told me about a month after she got married when I called to check on her that she and her husband had not had a fight…EVER….WHAT?!?!? I hung up feeling both confused and a little bad about myself and my marriage – Travis and I usually don’t go a day without some sort of spat – it’s the nature of living in the same place all the time…it’s like when you had college roommates. Living in that close of quarters you are bound to annoy one another, except with the roommate, you ignored a bunch of it to keep the peace and the friendship. In marriage, they promised to stay no matter what – you’re locked in – and so you let your spouse know what bugs you (and the spat sometimes ensues). Anyways, that friend now has a child and I’m quite sure she and her spouse have now had a spat or two – the sleep deprivation has to have made one of them snap at some point.

That was a long tangent to say, that we are now viewing (okay trying to view, constantly failing, but continually tryingto view) our marriage not as something for either of us, but as a reflection of the love God has for us. To love even when the other person rejects (read: annoys, ignores, hurts us, etc) us. In all honesty, Travis is much better at it than I am. I came home yesterday to a home that had been dusted, vaccuumed, and decluttered, laundry that had been washed, dried, and put away, and to a husband and baby happily chatting away at each other in the den. It was 6:30. Somehow Travis just knew that with staying up all night with a sick baby, work being so hectic with tax season, and all my Junior League responsibilities this week that this would make my day. He purposefully chose to do something that he knew would make me happy, and found time to fit that in during his day. I realize that we are lucky for him to be able to do this – not everyone works out of their home and can run upstairs to change out laundry in the middle of the day. He didn’t have to do it – he was just as tired and worked as hard as I did, but he did it anyway. He LOVES me!!! I felt God’s love in those simple actions yesterday (maybe I shouldn’t have called them simple – they were big in our eyes).

That brings me to cleaning:
All my life, my grandmother is happiest when she has a rag in her hand (she is always on the lookout for something to dust, wipe down, or a fly to kill). I can’t do it – where did she get her energy? It takes everything I have to go to work and try to keep the clutter at bay. “Well, she didn’t work you might say” —but she did – she had a full-time job as well. Who knows??? We had a maid service come to our house for 2 months – it was the most blissful 2 months – but then I came back to work and we had to get a nanny for Charlie, and it was Housekeepers??? or Nanny? Housekeepers??? or Nanny? – something had to go and the housekeepers seemed so frivolous. They don’t seem that frivolous when I get excited enough about my husband vaccuuming the house to dedicate half a blogpost to it, do they?

So this has been a random post, but Charlie is doing much better, and slept better last night. We’ve taken tons of cute pictures of him on our new really nice camera, but the downside to the nice 15.2 megapixel camera is that the picture files are so large they take forever to download. I can’t just hop to it and download pics for the blog – it takes more time and effort now. I PROMISE – hold me to it – to get some up this weekend, because he is so stinking cute and fun now – even if I do say so myself. 🙂


9 Responses

  1. Now you know how I felt when Haley was born! and why we love Charlie so much and don’t even get to see him much!!!!

  2. I’ll have to take your word on it for now, but I can’t imagine loving Charlie anymore than we already do!!

  3. Definitely got you on this! To watch your sweet friends love on their babies really does make it kind of all ‘click’. It’s such a blessing to have friends like you!

  4. I loved reading your thoughts… on babies and marriage and everything else. They even made me tear up… you know me:) I love Charlie too and am so ready to meet that little man! Hope to talk soon friend!

  5. I love Charlie so much too! You are completely right in that once you have your first child, you love your friends’ children so much more! These small children show you how much love you have to give!

  6. I know exactly what you mean about loving your friends babies so much! Becoming a mother just bonds you to your friends that have had similar experiences! Everytime you have a new post with pictures of Charlie, I get so excited! I love you, my friend! I hate that it has been AGES since we have seen each other! If Amanda has a blog, I would love to know what it is and see that sweet Eli!

  7. I totally agree with what you said about appreciating other babies more after having one yourself. I was one of the last of my group of friends to have children and I really had no idea how much you could love something until I had Sam. I think motherhood is something you can’t explain or understand until you are a mom. I love it!
    Thanks for sharing your blog with me!

  8. thanks for sharing your thoughts jessica! i love following your life on here! i completely agree with the friends’ babies. what book are you and travis reading? it sounds a lot like one i read a few months ago. i would love to see you once tax season settles. sounds like you’ve got a great catch…laundry, cleaning, talking with baby!

  9. and again :o)

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